| finally |
[Dec. 17th, 2005|08:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  grateful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | violins | ] |
out of the motel, into a studio! yay |
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| balance |
[Oct. 25th, 2005|02:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  creative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | sports on tv ug. not my fault | ] |
| You Are Balanced - Believer - Empowered |
You feel your life is controlled both externally and internally.
You have a good sense of what you can control and what you should let go.
Depending on the situation, you sometimes try to exert more control.
Other times, you accept things for what they are and go with the flow.
You are a true believer in luck, fate, and karma.
You believe that life is a game of chance - not a game of skill.
You either consider yourself very unlucky or very lucky.
No matter what, you don't feel like you can change the hand you were dealt.
You have a good deal of power, but you also know the pecking order.
You realize that working the system does get you further.
You know who to defer to and who to control.
When it comes to the game of life, you play things flawlessly. |
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| open in new window |
[Oct. 15th, 2005|11:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | creative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "What's my age again?" Blink 182 | ] |
I have 14 windows open.
How can a person read that many things at once...
Must be time for bed!
Why post that?
I dunno.
Hi!
What are you doing? |
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| open in new window |
[Oct. 15th, 2005|11:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | creative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "What's my age again?" Blink 182 | ] |
I have 14 windows open.
How can a person read that many things at once...
Must be time for bed!
Why post that?
I dunno.
Hi!
What are you doing? |
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| two tickets to iron mainden baby |
[Sep. 10th, 2005|06:25 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pensive | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Teenage Dirtbag by wheatus | ] |
Today my "earworm" song is "Teenage Dirtbag" by Wheatus, the band who did "Sunshine" if you remember all the way back to the Y2K. I played this song all night through my shift. In fact it's still on. It's just above my vocal range and I have to strain to sing it right, or I can drop an octave. I think i want singing lessons when I climb my dusty ass out of the desert. I have been thinking about "what I want" the past few days.
How do I know who I am or what I want.
The temporary and the long term.
Here, the nights are rapidly getting much colder, and sunrise is later... til daylight savings time and all that. Winter is on the way in the desert and it's time for Dogg and I to find someplace to be. We are talking it over and talking to people and looking into work. We have talked about Oregon, Nevada, California and several other places.
It was hard to tell my parents I might not be back for holidays this year. September 5th was the 8th anniversary of when I burried my younger sister and quit using the heroin. My dad is also 8 years cancer free from prostrate cancer. I should be celebrating my family and wanting to revel with them, but Christmas eve is also my sister's birthday. She would be 35 this year as I get ready to turn 36. Last year on my horrid 35th birthday, I promised myself I would do something different.
Time to find out what. |
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| "34 days till cleanup" |
[Aug. 4th, 2005|08:41 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | conflicted | ] |
| [ | music |
| | freight trains full of tanks go by | ] |
The best and worst of everything, all at once!
Do you ever feel that way, conflicted over whether things are actually going tits up or if it is just a figment of the mind? I try to drink more water when I feel like that. Confusion is one of the signs of dehydration out here. Here feels like the best and worst moments, all rolled up into the same time. I've make choices that are hard and live on nothing much. I save a sliver of sanity in my pocket, but don't make me break it out and use it, sanity is in short supply in the desert around festival time.
This abject poverty shit doesn't bother me, I'm still fat enough to burn a few more calories in the lean times, but the debt is sure frustrating. The festival pays out late, if they remember to pay, so I have to juggle bills like an acrobat. We are two adults living on the salary of a single minimum-wage earning teen.
On the other hand, I have a bunch of free time to write and photograph things and people. I have a few good friends, although Mars still needs more strong women. It's not quite the sausage party I found in 2001, but there still is a lot of men-on-men-on-booze jackassery. Ask me about the crushed van and the Auto Shop sometime in person. It's too inflammatory to sensationalize here. Although I will say it involved two drunk guys, a forklift, and a now-crushed van. Gerlach is a town with a high volume of alcoholics.
But then, to counterbalance the 'bullshitnaniganz' I'm always encountering, there's a moment like this. 8:30 am full of good coffee and a lite breakfast, things seem ok. A small bright bulb seems like high-watt voltage in a long thin well shaft. Today, the bright bulb is finding kittens sleeping on a grate to keep warm. There's a grate over one of the hot-spring wells in our back"yard" the um, alley we live in. It reminds me of DC where the homeless folks stay warm by sitting on grates. Except it's kittens. Wait, is that cheerful or depressing?It made me smile, kittens sleeping on a grate, but it's a pretty weird thing to be uplifted by.
Hope you're finding your way through the mucky muck too. It's a pretty damn nice day, just don't think about it too hard, mmmmkay? Focus on the love.
loka samasta sukhino bhavantu
now get up and stretch, you've been reading for too long already. |
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| bye shirt |
[Jul. 25th, 2005|06:59 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | hopeful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Joan Osborne - St. Terresa | ] |
I threw out a shirt I've held since 1988. Sophmore year in college I lived next to Mike Bishop from GWAR. He lived with Earnst VonOppenheimer from the AlterNatives. Maybe I was puking so Mike brought me a clean shirt. It read: FUCK MELVINS on one side and: LOUDER THAN SOUNDGARDEN on the back. I'm wearing a red tank top now. I puked on the T-shirt by accident.
AM not sick, it was just a furball.
Goodbye old favorite shirt.
An old tshirt is soft. |
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| 113 lucky degrees out |
[Jul. 20th, 2005|10:27 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | chipper | ] |
| [ | music |
| | some creepy war movie | ] |
Greetings from a Reno hotel. Craig and I needed a break from 113 degree temperatures, and booked a very nice room online for only 22 bucks. In spite of the promotional price, it's a really lovely room at a well known Palace. And the price is less than the $25 campgrounds we stayed in crossing the country earlier in the month which had no air conditioning.
You can see some self-explanitory photos here: http://www.pbase.com/gingerpetunia/2005_june_first_to_july_first
and here: http://www.pbase.com/gingerpetunia/2005_july1-july_31
While in Reno I set aside 10 bucks to gamble because it sounded fun for some bizarre reason. I have been coming to Reno for over 4 years and have not played more than 2 bucks in those five years. Just an occational quarter for kicks, usually at someones strident bequest that I should loosen up. Well, after I played $4.25 in slots I won 120 bucks, cashed out, and walked away a winner. We had a fabulous dinner tonight and still came out ahead. In fact, when paying for the dinner, they knocked 20 bucks off as a promotional deal or some weird shit.
May your day be lucky and bright. |
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| all you need is love |
[Mar. 24th, 2005|02:06 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  geeky | ] |
| [ | music |
| | deep purple smoke on the water | ] |
We can't get enough of silly love songs!
We sing them around the campfire.
What love songs do you love?
I'm collecting songs for a singalong.
Hit me with your love songs!
Songs that feature the word love a lot.
She loves you yeah yeah yeah.
All you need is love
go on... |
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| blather |
[Mar. 9th, 2005|10:08 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  energetic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | public radio | ] |
there's a new mind map ready for me and it includes ana voog now. neat
life is leveling out a little after our trip. we had a good night out
at the house on the hill of Ellicott City with local beer (Marzen ?)-
When is the last time you heard me say we stayed out till 4am?
The yarn am using allways pills up so i found a good cheap one-dollar
manual fuzz-buster device.
There is a website I joined thanks to Suzanne from California which is
called neopets. it's addictive. I don't even want to give you the link.
Google for neopets cheats and see how much there is out about this uh,
game, or lifestyle. It's got a rich backstory going on.
( Click here to see! ) |
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| your papers please |
[Feb. 22nd, 2005|02:20 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | pulled | ] |
| [ | music |
| | spoon gimmie fiction | ] |
a credit card company called me and sent me a letter while i was out of town. They reported my activity - my purchases - under the fraud early warning program.
While I was out of town using one card to track the trip purchases, the card stopped working. Imagine having to go out of town because a family member is reported dying, and to have your cards frozen until you check in with the bank.
What a load of crap. I switched to another card for the rest of my trip and will use that card's 5.9 percent interest check to pay off my purchase. Yes, I know it's a cash advance, but at least the rate to pay it off is good.
Does anyone else think it's creepy for the bank to call and confirm my purchases of cheese in wisconsin and petro in chicago, just because i have a home address in nevada?
Your papers please. |
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| clean house |
[Feb. 19th, 2005|10:34 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | cafeinated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | npr car talk | ] |
Craig and I are back from a really expensive trip to Minnesota to see his mom. When we got back to Baltimore I decided that I have to immediately start to sell off all my extra belongings.
Maybe it will help pay for the gas to Nevada this summer. Craig and I have to go home to Nevada this summer because he signed up for DPW again. I have several leads on stuff to do out there, including crochet things and make other art and it is exciting, but I am several thousand dollars away from being solvent enough to afford the gas back to Nevada. That's why I am going to start working to raise the funds now. We even are going to sell the bass I was gifted as assistant audio engineer of the Ann Beretta album... A nearly-shifty man had it appraised once while he borrowed it to make a recording. He tells me it's worth over 1k.
I'll also sell off my other stuff like music, jackets, toys and collectables. I don't like the idea of a long boring yard sale, and it is still cold, so if you have ideas about how to sell everything, let me know. Vees already suggested an indoor affair with snacks.
Made me think of throwing a "Buy till you puke" party where I give people enough booze shots as reward-for-purchase to keep people drunk enough to $pend more liberally. Then Tom suggested "Puke till you buy" party, where buyers will be fed shots FIRST and then they buy... either way, someone is going to wake up the next day wearing a K95 embroidered jacket with my name on it and wonder what happened.
what do you think? how do I sell off a household of random items in Baltimore...
some things have good value, some are just sentimental, either way I gotta get
out of debt and get rid of this extra stuff. cheers. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 17th, 2005|11:11 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | dorky | ] |
| [ | music |
| | zoo bomb | ] |
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| and the beat goes on |
[Jan. 25th, 2005|08:17 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | nostalgic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | no no | ] |
Hazmatt sent me a link to this MC http://mcchris.com .
The artist has a free album download online and still
answers his own fan mail. So I listened to "the tussin"
and "fett's vett" and was making loose plans to see this
act live at OTTOBAR Jan 31 - Baltimore, January 31, 2005 .
I was lining up plans for my client session tomorrow after yoga.
Tonight after Yoga I'll see ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) fuego .
Work and yoga are a nice weekly dance I've been twirling.
and boom.
In comes news we must travel to Minnesota right away.
Craig's mom is dying and we have to go say bye to her.
Celebrate her life. Make her exit more comfy and serene.
Or help her kick and scream. Everyone gives a unique so-long.
A final thumbprint on the world. The big toodles.
So tomorrow after yoga and client, Craig and I will drive
to Minnesota. Instead of put life on hold, I like to think
of it as going up to celebrate her good times.
If I don't see u before tomorrow, you'll know where to we vanished.
I can't say I didn't know it was coming, and yet it's still new & tender.
Everyone who has an appointment with me before Wednesday at 3pm
is still solid. After that, better leave a message.
Will check in when we can.
and the heart beats on.
thump thump.
be glad. |
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| less being more and all |
[Jan. 24th, 2005|12:30 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  satisfied | ] |
| [ | music |
| | theme for less stuff | ] |
I was crocheting, working on the blanket for my parents. The sound was down on the tv (lowercase thank you) but the closed captioning was on. Some of you folks are brave enough to kill their TV, I just keep mine wounded; as one who worked in entertainment for years and years, I do like a little boob, but I don't want it straight up. Surf it for the good bits, and work really hard to avoid the pull of getting sucked in for too long a stretch.
When I crochet and have the tv sound off and some music on, it means I'll only see an image flash by every five minutes or so when I look up to look around.
It is good to focus far away when I'm working so my eyes don't fatigue. So this image flashes by while I was bobbibng my head up to stretch. And I thought, wow, look nobody wears bad clothes on the box with the moving pictures. By bad I mean torn, faded, worn, stained... lived in.
What happens to those clothes tomorrow? Where do they all go? Seems like if hollywood started a "clothe the world" campaign, nobody would ever lack for clothes henceforth.
So this is what people work for? To wear clothes once and look glamerous? I'm confused by that. Some of my warmest memories come from my smelliest, most wreck-ed-looking broke down messes.
The times I am Crying I am so happy and Laughing I am so sad
Joyous for having an idea burst open to reveal itself in my mind.
Maybe I'm just pensive because Craig's sister called and said his mom is getting ready to let go. I'm a very experienced griever. I know the rituals, the expectations, the stuff of it. I know what is coming for this family. Same for Lisa and her dad. Same for all of us, slipping away into the ether sooner or later... it's coming and here we are pretending the emporer's new coat is lovely.
Who the hell cares what you are wearing? And yet I am hoping people care about this stuff because I am selling it on the ebay don't you know?
I'm working to release my "possessions" back into the wild where they will love new owners... new posessers. And I'm trying to decide what to list next to sell.
Should I sell the dress from the GWAR movie? It's the whole clothes thing, has me thinking: People seem to care about clothes don't they -?- here at least in the USA. I'm sure I don't need to be attached to that silly old dress. It is not doing me any good to keep it in a box. It doesn't even fit me very well anymore, it looks weird on. and It's not like I plan to start wearing it around. I made the dress so it has ACTUAL CRAFTY STYLEE and isn't just a store bought thing. it's a dress of many colors, made lovingly from patches.
just today I was sent this link:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=15687&item=3953142792&rd=1
somebody paid 37 ubcks for a new-looking dpw/ lance's power crew T-shirt that i have a half-dozen of. except uh, mine are worn in. I think it is funny how someone who was never in DPW, paid a lot of money for a shirt they did not earn when the actual dpw crew prolly has about 200 bucks between us to show for what we did. That and some tattered tshirts.
well, time to liberate from more stuff!
http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQfgtpZ1QQfrppZ25QQfsooZ1QQfsopZ1QQsassZorganized4good
nothing I have up is selling yet - the stuff that ends today looks bleak...
but I still have to think positively cause I know there are people out there who want this stuff.
I see it in the advanced search all the time.
so,
up and at em. I'll let you know if I find anything good to liberate.
Where did I last place my Donnie and MArie tour book
from when they played the Kennedy Center when I was 7 years old.
Man I wonder if THAT will sell....
giddyup |
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